Gift of Friendship
by Kriyn Dake
Summary: Admist his darkness and self reproach... Mikagami may not know it, but he has finally grasped the light... it's up to him whether to accept it or not.


Gift of Friendship  
~ by Perlya ~  
  
The snow was falling so softly.   
  
They came from up above. That whirlpool of china blue and dark velvet indigo.   
  
First appearing as shimmering white dots in the centre, enlarging before your eyes. The delicate crystals of water catching and reflecting back the waning winter sun.   
  
Then before you knew it, they were all around you.   
  
Brushing against you like soft white feathers, they lay weightless on your shoulders… on your warm coats… on your eyelashes… endowing you in pristine white.   
  
Snow flakes… were so beautiful   
  
Too beautiful. For him.   
  
His lips curled wryly. He was staining these delicate things even now by allowing them to touch him. For he knew that there was nothing beautiful in him to reach out to them. There was only an empty horrible twisted void… that he had created by himself. And down there… in the dark… in the pain… there was no place for beauty.   
  
Of any kind…   
  
Some had called him handsome before. They said that he had a face and a demeanor that stole the breath of countless girls… most guys were either insanely jealous of him or they shunned from him… calling him a sissy.   
  
And… he liked it that way. Yes. That way he could be all alone, so he could live his empty hollow life alone… without involving anyone or getting anyone hurt again.   
  
Beauty… had been taken from him once and left him and his heart dark and cold. Some said that he had a cool image. An untouchable cool hero. He almost wanted to laugh… but he couldn't for it would be the hollow laughter of a dead man. His eyes which many said were like cool ice glass where actually mirrors of his own soul.   
  
Empty. Reflecting only what people wanted to see. Cold and untouchable. Cold… so very cold…   
  
Even more so in this chilly winter.   
  
He shook his head… in self denial. No. He must not think such thoughts again… not now… when it was so cold… he had to get home, where things were a little warmer.   
  
He quickened his steps and pulled his dark sleek jacket closer.   
  
Home… but there was only physical warmth in that house. For he was all alone… would he actually be warm? He mused almost distractedly without feeling. No. He wasn't feeling sorry for himself. That feeling had ceased a long time ago… there was nothing left to feel.   
  
Finally. He had reached home. He stared at the door and reached into his pocket for the key.   
  
Strange. He reflected as he slowly pulled out the dangling silver key. One should feel lighter when one was empty. But you only felt a heavier longing and lack of purpose that haunted you and hammered down on you… and sometimes this hammering got too much and you became… Oh… so very tired.   
  
He knitted his eyebrows as a familiar feeling came over him. Tired. Very tired. He turned the key with agonizing slowness, for he suddenly felt drawn of strength.   
  
Tired… very … very..   
  
He closed his eyes briefly… I need to get inside he thought.. then opened the door.   
  
"SURPRISE!!!" screamed the entire Hokage gang as they grinned from ear to ear.   
  
Mikagami stood frozen at the door way before his eyes narrowed in suspicion at the shattered window.   
  
He growled.   
  
"HEY! I happen to like that window…"   
  
"Don't be such a fussy wussy!" drawled Fuuko as she hit him on the head.   
  
"OUCH… hey! What's all this about?" asked Mikagami as he rubbed the sore spot on his head painfully.   
  
Recca grinned and Yanagi spoke up. "Well… we knew that you weren't gonna answer to the Christmas party invitation we sent you… "   
  
"SO! We decided… no party's complete without our usual ice man… If you weren't coming then… WE would come!" grinned a cat-like koganei with his trademark peace sign.   
  
Mikagami wondered why he felt strangely touched by those words. And he could feel in the empty void, something pouring in… caressing and comforting. What was it?   
  
In the midst of his musing… he sniffed the air suddenly. He glared at everyone "WHAT is that smell?"   
  
Fuuko's eyes widened. "THE CHRISTMAS CAKE!" she screamed as she clambered and leaped over to the kitchen. Mikagami's eyebrows twitched dangerously. "You allowed that woman? Who NEVER touched a cook book in her life? TO step into MY KITCHEN?!"   
  
Everyone suddenly found their feet very interesting.   
  
Mikagami sighed and stepped into the kitchen. "OUT!" He ordered Fuuko, who meekly obeyed and handed the cutlery over and shuffled out. Mikagami sighed inwardly at the mess. He poked his head back out "Why don't you guys do the decorations and stuff" his eyes narrowed "leave my kitchen ALONE… "   
  
"Oh dear… " whispered Kage as the others silently went to decorate.   
  
*****   
  
Mikagami set about mixing the dough again. He decided he would leave the cleaning up for later. He grimaced at the mess. "And she calls herself a woman…" he grumbled under his breath.   
  
"HEY! Handsome boy I heard that!" glared Fuuko angrily as she passed by the kitchen with a bundle of silver glittering ropes. "But I'm too busy right now… I'll return you the COMPLIMENT later… in FULL…" Fuuko stressed the words then walked off in a huff.   
  
Mikagami sweated inwardly. He hurriedly mixed the dough, following the instructions, he expertly added some sugar and a bit of this and a bit of that… he resisted the great urge to rush out back into his living room at the shouts and hollers coming from there.   
  
"NO NOT THERE!"   
  
"THE LADDER'S FALLING!"   
  
"I CAN'T SEE!"   
"YOU'LL BURN THE PLACE DOWN!"   
  
"PASS ME THE GOLDEN STAR NOT THE GOLDEN CAR FOR THE TREE!"   
  
"YOUR PANTS ARE FALLING OFF!"   
  
"Eeeeeeeeeeee… "   
  
"THEY ARE TOO!"   
  
"STOP LOOKING!"   
  
"I'll be grateful if this place is still standing… " He muttered after checking that there was no one at the door way again…   
  
*****   
  
Outside, the snow was still falling in waves, blanketing everything and pausing outside this house and they melted as they settle on the roof…   
  
For they could feel heat and it was not just physical heat they were referring too… there was a nice suffusing warmth from the hearts of the people in this house.   
  
*****   
  
Mikagami calmly walked out of the kitchen, juggling the Christmas turkey dish, the Christmas cake and a tray of drinks with expertise. Everyone looked greedily as he laid them out on the table. They sniffed the aroma gratefully and wasted no time in digging in.   
  
"WOW! Not bad! For a guy… "Fuuko exclaimed while smiling sweetly at him. Mikagami sweated inwardly, no doubt this tomboy still remembered his comment earlier on.   
  
"Great! Wow… My dad never cooked such nice turkey before! It was always takeout!" Recca exclaimed while giving hime a generous helping.   
  
"It tastes delicious!" grinned Yanagi.   
  
Kage smiled in appreciation at the wonderful juices from the bite of the turkey she was eating.   
  
Koganei and Domon were too busy stuffing themselves to say anything other than muffled happy noises.   
  
Ganko tugged at Mikagami's apron and looked up at him in awe. "You're a good cook Mikagami-san!"   
  
Mikagami flushed, his face already slightly red from the baking and cooking in the oven turned a shade redder at all the compliments being thrown at him. Especially when it was not about his sword skills.   
  
"Er… uh… well… it's nothing. You're guests." He stated quietly and allowed a tinge of warmth to creep into his voice. Yanagi suddenly remembered the Christmas cookies she had baked at home and brought them out to share too.   
  
And again… there was that subtle feeling of something warm pouring down into that deep abyss and… he liked this feeling. To his amazement, it was actually something he was familiar with. Something… he shook his head slightly, stop imagining things. And politely took another cookie from Yanagi.   
  
*****   
  
"YANAGI-NIIJIANG!!!" Kaoru squealed happily and gave Yanagi a crushing hug when he opened his Christmas present, unfortunately earning a kick from protective Recca. Kaoru did not seem to notice as he landed at the other corner of the room staring happily at the LATEST MOST COMPLICATED puzzle-box in the world.   
  
Mikagami could not help shaking his head. "Little Baka… " he muttered softly as he leaned against the wall as he watched everyone receive their presents.   
  
Fuuko whirled round and round, flashing her latest ninja knives at everyone, while bashing away Domon who demanded a kiss as a Christmas present.   
  
"B-but… LOOK! I even bought mistletoe!!!" blubbered Domon and looked beseechingly at his Fuuko-sama.   
  
"OH! Go away… you gorilla!" replied Fuuko irritatingly but paused, turned around and gave him a small packet.   
  
"FOR ME?!" Domon stared at the packet as if it were a new madouga.   
  
"YEP! Freshly baked cookies!" Fuuko grinned and Domon's face turned pale, very pale.   
  
"Y-you b-b-baked them… " he whispered very quietly and Mikagami wondered why he didn't faint when Fuuko nodded happily.   
"See! Some people APPRECIATE my cooking…" proclaimed Fuuko as she threw a death glare at Mikagami. She just doesn't forget, doesn't she?   
  
Recca was looking happily at a ninja history book. Ganko twirled in her lavender sweet dress that Fuuko had bought for her. Yanagi practically glowed with happiness at a simple silver necklace, adorned with a teardrop shaped amethyst in the centre. Mikagami wondered if Kage had helped Recca by that present. Mikagami's lips curled back in a half-smile. He had never known a sea monkey with exquisite taste before. Come to think of it… monkeys never had brains anyway. He chuckled inwardly and nearly jumped in surprise when he realized something was being thrust towards him.   
  
Out of reflex, he was about to lash out when he realized it was a present. He looked up and saw that nearly everyone was staring his way. Of course they weren't doing it out right but Mikagami was anything but stupid. He could see the subtle glances everyone was throwing at him. He blinked.   
  
"Me?" he asked, genuinely surprised.   
  
"Hai~" Yanagi nodded and deftly pushed it into his lap. "From all of us!"   
  
Mikagami noticed that everyone was waiting and they all looked nervous even… Mikagami looked at the present with disbelief and a fair amount of suspicion. One could not blame him… he had not received a present for a long time. Neither had he accepted one… ever since. He shook the thought out of his head.   
  
His normally calm composed hands, hesitatingly reached out and slowly unwrapped the first layer. He blinked several times. There was a note staring back at him.   
  
"Oi! I can cook ok! You think only YOU can cook Mr Hot-shot? I could teach you a thing or two! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of woman… I CAN SEW TOO! So STOP CALLING ME A TOM BOY AND PISSING ME OFF…" read the note, and there was a chibi irritated looking drawing of Fuuko with her hands on her hips. Mikagami's eyebrows twitched when he heard Fuuko chuckling.   
  
He opened the next layer…   
  
"BAKA…. YOU BAKA BAKA!!! Now I'm only writing this cause my hime told me too! YOU'D BETTER APPRECIATE WHAT I WENT THROUGHT TO FINISH THIS GIFT!!! NOW my fingers hurt and… YOU OWE me one… FRIEND! IRRITATING SWORDSMAN….." There was a chibi drawing of Recca glaring at him.   
  
Yes. Mikagami thought dryly. I'm sure they all love me.   
  
Layer after layer, he sat reading the outrageously rude but familiar notes. What else had he expected? Koganei's was purely irritating. He cringed at Domon's grammar and a brief smile flashed across his face at innocent Ganko's. Then he came to the last layer. It was Yanagi's. There was no chibi picture at the bottom. He read it and paused.   
  
"Mikagami-sempai. There is no chibi pic at the bottom because I know my face is a double-edged sword. This might sound kinda depressing on Christmas day. But it's true. I know that when you think of me you think of her. But I just want to say… if I truly remind you of her? Then you're the best big brother I could ever have.   
  
Now… enough of that! Quickly open the present ne? Hee… I'm sure you'll love it. It's made by all of us…"   
  
Everyone had allowed him privacy by minding their own business, telling Christmas stories, jokes and trying to murder each other as usual. That's right. It was all so usual, they allowed him some space and he thanked them for that.   
  
When the last layer fell apart. He took a moment to steady himself and reached down and took up a scarf. A very long one. Hand-made. There were all together… seven sections. Sewn together.   
  
It's made by all of us…   
  
The flickering firelight leaped up and the warm light danced over the scarf. Creating shadows that weave in out of the patterns and threads. Countless threads. Countless colours. Here a frayed thread. There a split thread. Here a broken end. There a stain of grape juice. Yep… this section was definitely Koganei's.   
  
The scarf was awful. Well… someone had obviously tried very hard to make the whole scarf go together by the similar design patterns that tried to stay the same but failed as they were sewn by different people. Mikagami peeked up. Were they looking at him? No… they were not. Good. He fingered the scarf softly and calmly wrapped it round his neck.   
  
He nonchalantly glared at everyone with a look that said that he was doing them a favour by wearing it. He did not see the sparkle in Yanagi's eyes when she saw that he had worn it. Everyone shared a knowing smirk. Try as hard as he might, they knew he was just a little touched. After all, did he think they were THAT stupid. They had been with him for a while, teased him and bullied him. They could see. They were not blind.   
  
He was wearing it. That was enough.   
  
*****   
  
Everyone was leaving.   
  
"Good night Mikagami-sempai!" waved Yanagi as she slipped her arm into Recca's. Recca looked like he was in heaven and waved enthusiastically back to Mikagami too.   
  
"Oyasumi Nasai Mikagami-san!" called out Ganko sleepily and sweetly before she dropped back to sleep in Fuuko's comfortable soft arms. Fuuko smiled down and winked at Mikagami. Mikagami almost leaped back at the jealous daggers Domon was throwing at him. Domon almost immediately relaxed and grinned at him too though.   
  
"Great dinner!" Koganei rubbed his tummy in appreciation and cheekily stuck out his tongue at Mikagami before he hopped over to Yanagi and Recca.   
  
"You're a good cook." Kage smiled. "It might be a bit cold tonight… keep the fire up" She gave this motherly comment, while she gazed at the snow still falling, before slipping into the shadows.   
  
"You'd better come to the New Year's Day celebration at Recca's house!" warned Fuuko.   
  
"… or we'll drag you there!" called out Koganei.   
  
"MY HOUSE?!" Recca cried out in indignation. "WHEN DID ANYONE EVER TELL ME?"   
  
"Well… we're telling you now aren't we?" stated Fuuko simply as if this was something taken for granted.   
  
"Are you coming Ice man?" he asked.   
  
Mikagami stared at Recca and he asked calmly. "Will I be an inconvenience?"   
  
"Yeah…" Recca growled.   
  
Mikagami gave his famous quarter smile. "Then you can count on me to be there." Everyone fell over in laughter. Recca made some incomprehensible noise in his throat before sighing inwardly. There goes my romantic firework New Year's celebration with hime.   
  
They walked off into the far distance. Their laughter and harmless banter ringing out in the still of the night. Mikagami stood and leaned against the swinging gate for a while. He raised his head and half glanced up at the sky. The snow was still falling… like stardust from the impenetrable heavens.   
  
Looking at them falling haphazardly around him. Mikagami closed his eyes and concentrated. His Ensui tingled briefly in his palm. He played with the snowflakes for a little while. That's right… a glimpse of a smile crept on his lips. He had been smiling a lot tonight too… he was playing. Yes. He the ice man was playing. Mikagami gave a short brief deep-throated chuckle. The flakes swirled around him. Finally, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at the Japanese characters embedded in the ground, made with snowflakes.   
  
His lips parted and he read them out softly. "Hokage…"   
  
Hokage…   
  
The group that gave life instead of taking it. The group full of idiots who still firmly believed in their naïve little dream that you did not have to kill if you chose not to. And the amazing thing was their dream worked. It did. Mikagami had seen them change a dream into reality again… and again… succeeding.. always…   
  
This group had led him to believe that miracles and dreams do come through. In his darkness… they had led him back to light. He was still faraway from it. He could only catch glimpses of the thing they called… happiness.   
  
But when he did… he experienced a showering and caressing in that deep dark well of loneliness and pain and he had hope. Just a flicker and spark. But it gave him some hope… something he never thought he would see again.   
  
Kurei had once asked. Why was he in Hokage? Why not in his group. The answer was so simple. He had contracted the Hokage's contagious disease and chosen life over death. When he was sure he was just going to go down that road to his sister alone. They had appeared. As irritants and immature pests at first. But now he realized they had pulled him back… and gave him the chance.   
  
The chance…   
  
"To live a little while longer.. " whispered Mikagami to no one in particular.   
  
The wind blew around him but he no longer felt cold because he had a new scarf round his neck. One woven with friendship and hope. And life.   
  
Thank you.   
  
A single tear rolled down Mikagami's cheek. He smiled. He must be a softie after all. "The infamous Hokage poison. It makes your heart weak." He chuckled again. What? Chuckled again?   
  
"This is spoiling my image. Laughing so much." He said teasingly to himself. He stretched himself and rose back up.   
  
"It's getting late… better go see to the fire." He paused for a moment though for he realized it really was not cold anymore. In fact it was very extremely warm. Very comfortable. He stared at the symbols on the ground for a minute longer. Searching the words. Looking for something. When he found it, he quietly walked back in and shut the door.   
  
The Japanese characters guarded the door and seemed to be protecting this house. The words carried the promise of friendship. And Mikagami had received it.   
  
Thank you… for the gift of friendship.   



End file.
